It is morning. A woman stumbles groggily into her living room, mascara smeared down her cheeks, hair a greasy mess. As her eyes regain their ability to focus she sees a dishevelled man asleep in a corner. Beside him is a vast, foamy, mucousy mass.

WOMAN
Oh God. What happened last night?

MAN (waking)
Hey, baby.

WOMAN
Oh no. Oh no, no, no. Please tell me we didn't.

MAN
It was amazing.

WOMAN
No, no way am I ready for this. What the hell happened?

MAN
Don't you remember? After you asked me back for coffee, and we were making out, and things were getting pretty hot...

WOMAN
I don't need a fucking diagram.

MAN
Well, I got up and made this bubble nest in this safe, warm corner. And then I took off all my clothes and did that dance for you, and you were totally turned on.

WOMAN
I think I'm going to be sick.

MAN
Then you told me to 'take you now,' so I wrapped myself around you and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed until you released your eggs, and as they fell I caught them one by one and put them into the nest.

WOMAN
I am actually going to be sick.

MAN
Then you left the room and I deposited my sperm.

WOMAN
Leave. Leave now. Oh God, I need a bucket. And a bacon and egg roll. And a mop to clean up this fucking mess.

MAN
I think we should send them to Steiner school when they get big.