Somehow I managed to come to this part of Australia with only one (1) brown cardigan, and that was misplaced at some point during the course of events on Tuesday, so I now have only a broad collection of the same Lee jeans every Dave Eggers reading girl worth her thick rimmed glasses has, impractical but cutely spotted little shirts and the odd band T-shirt. Yesterday I toddled around Fitzroy in my sister's rather gigantic white polar fleece hoodie. I caught a glimpse of myself huddled at a tram stop, cigarette dangling from a puffy white sleeve, and for a second I honestly thought I was homeless.

I considered buying a white corduroy blazer with black piping (tres Tammy Wynette gone to London) from Kinki Gerlinki, but no one told me Kinki Gerlinki sucks balls. Most of their clothes don't have sizes ('free' size my ass) and I didn't really find their range all that inspiring. Plus, I had to put my arm through a fine mesh of loose threads in the sleeve of the $90 blazer I tried on, and there were buttons missing. I truly am a nanna, but I dislike all that hype about sucky, crappily fitted, dodgily made clothes.

In other news, the shoes at Shag made me lose at least two major neurological functions. I truly love a pair of heels, honestly I do. There was a pair of ankle breakingly high green velvet stack heels with eyelets pierced through the side and a big, floppy bow threaded through that I would sell my kidneys for. Just so you know, Shag.

I think I might have some leads on a couple of houses, but I really daren't say anything in case I jinx the process. One place has the sweetest, tiniest, leg twiniest, most affectionate little cat I've ever met, and chickens (this lead to me ending a rather innocuous text conversation with a threat to send H5N1 to my friends if they don't come visit. That message wasn't replied to). The other has a barbeque, rather rad people and a pub directly across the street. I find out this weekend. If I am rejected by both I may just set up a tent on one of Melbourne Uni's green, green, green lawns and live there.

I have to write another proposal and I don't want to, you can't make me, I won't. I see this being a terrifying and self destructive pattern over the next year.